Breathing Deeply

So, on Friday I had my first appointment with the Juravinski team. 

I was trying to keep myself busy before the appointment but it was proving to be a challenge. I have, in the past, been described as a "totally positive hyperactive over achiever" and in my work as a curator of events, a bookseller and an artist it has served me well. But in these days of waiting, I wish my mile a minute brain would just chill the heck out.  

The past three months prior to this diagnosis I started meditating. And the past few days these new ways of focusing have helped me quite a bit. 

When we walked into the clinic, I could barely breathe. You see, my mile a minute brain had convinced me that I was about to hear the worst diagnosis ever. Thankfully it was quite the opposite.

I have Stage 0 Ductal Carcinoma In Situ. I will have a lumpectomy followed by chemotherapy and radiation. Of course after the surgery they do more tests to see that nothing has changed. If it has, we come up with another plan. 

According to my doctor, if you do have breast cancer, this is the best breast cancer to have. 

It's my 11th wedding anniversary today and we are at a cottage in Port Dover. I know that the coming months will be difficult, but for the next few weeks until the treatment begins, I plan to take care of myself emotionally and physically. I plan to see those I love dearly. I am going to eat healthy food. Tonight as I watch the stars above, for the first time in weeks I am breathing deeply.